The Nose Knows

The day was a time for visiting families…Eka’s coworker and best bud, Ervita, wanted us to come to her home. Her family wanted to meet us…after Friday prayers. Eka told us that we could not be on the street between 12-2 p.m. because the Muslin police would make us return to the hotel. When noon hit, the busy, noisy streets basically became empty with only a few motor bikes zipping down trying to get where were supposed to be without getting in trouble. The Muslim police enforce the rule that ALL women in the province wear head scarves and Friday prayers. At 2:01 the streets again had their usual buzz and Eka and Ervita showed up a few minutes later to take us to Ervita’s home. So off we zoomed with the motor bikes/scooters, wove our way through traffic and onto small side streets and into a small path where her home was situated. They had never even met a foreigner, much less had one in their home and so you would have thought it was the royal couple paying a visit….everybody lined up for handshakes in the traditional manner….they take your hand and then press it to their forehead as a sign of respect to elders. As always, food and juice were provided and the buzz around the room left me confused and curious…Eka explained that they thought I was very handsome because of my pointy nose. She pointed (No pun intended) out that Indonesians have a very flat nose and a pointy one is seen as much more attractive. Well, that was certainly a first….my nose has not been a source of pride, and while it isn’t Jimmy Durante sized, it isn’t a tiny little thing either. Questions were asked and the oohs and aahs that accompanied Eka’s translations over even the most trivial detail made us realize how far we had come besides the obvious distance in miles involved. The house was a simple one, but not a poor one…It was a brick one and spotlessly clean, a feature we have noticed throughout our travels. No matter how poor the people are, they take pride in keeping what part of their lives they have control over clean and tidy. The living room was about the size of a master bedroom in a tract home and a few photos hung on the walls and when I inquired as to whether they were the parents, the answer was “Yes, the heads are the parents”. The photos were photo-shopped with a more affluent couples dress and surroundings forming the main part of the photo….these people couldn’t afford to have weddings like the ones in the photos, but their dreams were not lacking. The main living room was bare with the exception of a wicker sofa, just big enough for Carol and me to sit on, while the others all sat or stood….there were about 20 or so individuals checking out the visitors…..aunts, and lots of kids, but no men (they were all at work), filled the room. One door led to an outdoor kitchen, covered, but open to allow heat to escape and not fill the house with any more heat than was already present. Certainly a benefit in a land where air conditioning is a luxury most people could not afford. They just deal with it. There were a cluster of four homes with various family members occupying the individual houses. After the chit-chat, photos were a mandatory process with each person wanting a photo and a little discord occurred when someone bogarted the queue.

After a couple of hours of interplay we headed to Eka’s house for the same ritual….she is one of four siblings, and with the exception of the brother who works in Medan, all were present for the ritual which was repeated as it was at Ervita’s. An aunt came by, as did a neighbor, then another neighbor and still another one and another aunt…They could not believe that people would come all the way from America to visit Langsa…that was beyond their conceptual experience. As we settled in on the floor, the buzz started again over the nose and this was repeated every time a new person came to the house to see these exotic creatures, the foreigners and the one with the pointy nose. They were in no way insulting about my nose. I say that because it certainly would be in most places, but these people are as warm and friendly as you will find anywhere in the world, and the thought that they were giving offense is beyond their capacity as hosts. We had brought gifts for the family….scarves from India for the ladies. Eka has somewhere between 70 and 100, so this was certainly a needed gift. The brothers got tee shirts that I purchased…Oregon and Oregon State are the big schools in the area and were an easy find. The brother who was in attendance was absolutely delighted with his shirt, while the sister commandeered the bright yellow of Oregon. They, of course, reciprocated with a lovely purse for Carol and matching Indonesian design shirts for the two of us. Cousins began to arrive with babies and husbands filtered in to fill the room with laughter and the conviviality that these extended families personify. The weathered face of an old woman who turned out to be 77 years old was the most fascinating to me…I asked her about the changes she had seen in her life, and the response was that her husband had been in the military and that they had lived in many parts of Indonesia. In the end, I thought, the question was beyond the conceptual process of her brain…she wasn’t ignorant, but the lives of Indonesian women didn’t lend to concepts of changes in society and culture over the course of a lifetime…It was just not how her mind worked.

Food was bought out for all. Indonesian dishes spicy enough that they could melt metal if left too long in the pots. Tasty and filling, we ate and talked for a long time before saying our goodbyes to return to our air conditioned room after a day in the heat. It was a wonderful day to see two families and a small snippet of their lives. It is a simple life, but a pure one….people loving each other and just trying to get from one day to the next with joy in their hearts. As dusk fell, Eka told carol that she needed to be excused for a few minutes. As devout Muslims, she and a few family members needed to go off to a separate room for even prayers. In the end, it was all about family. I slept well thinking of the great family that I have as well, even though our lives are not so simple and our goals don’t always match up, still they are family. I also slept well thinking that my nose wasn’t as big or pointy as it seemed earlier in the day, and other people can even see beauty in it. Life is good.