The Giggle Girl

Shakhlo and Malika are their names, Shah and Mali is how we call them. They came to me as friends before our second trip to Uzbekistan in 2013 through the usual channels of mutual Uzbekistan facebook friends…I received a request from the two lyceum girls, 17 at the time, and asked my usual questions: How did you find me and why do you want to be friends with an old man half way across the world. They answered intelligently and with light heartedness and we became friends. Over the months of conversation they began to call us “Granny” and “Grandpa” and they became like true granddaughters to us. On our visit to Uzbekistan several months later we spent more time with them than with any other people in Tashkent. They even accompanied us to our 35th Anniversary dinner.

They were best friends, study partners and were always having fun together. When they would try to send me a voice message they giggled through most of it and I began to call them “The Giggle Girls.” With all the silliness of high school girls they were both serious students and were able to carry on intelligent conversations when they could stop giggling. After graduation, Mali was awarded a rare, full-ride scholarships to a university, one of only 4-5 given each year and Shah applied for, and was granted, admission to a University in Prague and a Czech visa, which is difficult to obtain in today’s world. Her father had business interests in Prague and had an apartment so this made it more practical for her to leave the nest. She was excited about fulfilling her dream and headed eagerly off to Prague and a new life experience. Then the heavy THUD of reality set in. There is nothing in the upbringing of Uzbek girls to prepare them for the sudden change from the sheltered nest in which they have been brought up, a comfortable nest where everything is laid out for them and they follow willingly, but blindly. Right up to the point where many parents choose their mates and that’s a done deal. Shah was suddenly away from her major support system, Mom. She was in a culture she knew nothing about, a language she didn’t understand, different religious focus, no friends, and in short she was totally lost. She would write to me and I could hear the tears dripping on the typewriter keys. Her sadness was that palpable. Confused, afraid of failure, and basically alone, she struggled badly…she was ready to pack it all in and head home. But she didn’t…she stuck it out. Cut to one year later and we arrive in Prague to find this same teary, confused young woman a dynamic force who has taken charge of her life and is living it with gusto, poise and energy. She passed all her courses the first year and headed into her second year. Dad had issues that needed addressing in Uzbekistan and he left Shah to continue on her own. She got a job, then got a better job in a Turkish Restaurant at Wenceslaus Square and is a barista. The restaurant is a blend of Turkish, Czech, Ukrainian and Uzbek workers. She is 5’3 and 100 pounds and bulls her way through the waiters who stand in her way when she is moving from point a to point b. No hesitation, no deference, no holding back from noon until closing time which is around midnight. She now lives by herself and totally supports herself through her job and still attends university classes.

I can’t tell you how impressed I was to see this giggle girl with such a determination that I never knew she had inside…looking back there were signs which I saw as an anomaly two years ago but were, in fact, the seeds of the strength she would need to survive in her present situation. I asked her if she liked living by herself and she just looked with a deadpan expression and said. “This is what I have to do. It’s not to like or dislike. It’s just my life.” No bitterness, no frustration, she just does what I need to do…What a tough little woman she has become.

I admire her so very much. She didn’t wilt under the pressure and stress. She didn’t fade into the quiet life of what is expected of so many Uzbek girls reaching womanhood. She reached deep inside and found the strength not only to survive, but to flourish. She’s still sweet Shax, she’s just a full-blown, fully functioning woman now and living her life on her terms. No Grandpa could hope for anything more for his granddaughter..